And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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