Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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