I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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