16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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