Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
