I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
