PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
