Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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