hotel room ftw
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
