would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize
