So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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