Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
