Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this just has baby written all over it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
