I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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