I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Randomize
