So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
