shes about as inviting as chlamydia
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize