dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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