She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
