Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
