do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
