I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
