I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
