the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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