Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
