Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
should my penis look like a turkey
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
