How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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