loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
