why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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