Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
