woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
