just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
