I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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