It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
