When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
