dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
