So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
