That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
