I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
