Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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