I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
