it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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