the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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