Me too!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
