Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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