Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
