i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
