two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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