just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
