I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
