This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i need some magic done to my vagina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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