Sry I called you an 8
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
