Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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