I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
