dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
