Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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