Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize