the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's just like the Real World with babies
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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