dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize