oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
