You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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