the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
