as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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