So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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