girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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