I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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