so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
