Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
