Your mouth is God's brothel.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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