Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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