i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
