its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize