I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
