5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
