I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
