yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do herpes really smell.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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