oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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