i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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